Oct
14
Lesbians who dislike bisexual/bi-curious women.
Loved. This.i don’t see what’s so wrong with someone labeling themselves or identifying as bi-curious. all that classification indicates to me is that they’ve never been with the same sex but they have enough of an attraction to make them uncertain about their heterosexuality. technically, we were all bi-curious or gay-curious at one point weren’t we? before we were confident in our sexuality, we had that sexual curiosity, right? that “i don’t think i’m straight…” or “i think i may like women.” we didn’t just wake up one morning and know that we were gay and most of us didn’t grow up knowing that we were gay, beyond all doubt. i’m not suspicious of a girls motives if she uses the term bi-curious to express her current sexual orientation. i say “current” because bi-curious is not a long term sexual orientation but merely a transitional or temporary sexual orientation. however, i wouldn’t be foolish enough to emotionally invest in a girl who identified as bi-curious because there’s no guarantee that she could be satisfied in a lesbian relationship. also, if a girl identifies as bi-curious but later chooses a heterosexual lifestyle, i don’t think that makes her a fraud. she obviously experimented with females and realized that her attraction to them had nothing to do with her sexual orientation and she was, in fact, heterosexual rather than bisexual. i’d much rather a girl label herself bi-CURIOUS than bisexual because it’s honest and allows me to know that her homosexuality is not confirmed but something that she is still trying to figure out.
i believe that sexuality is fluid; ever-changing and ever-evolving. i don’t think that in the majority of cases, someone is 100% gay or straight, 100% of the time. i think biology plays a role in the fluidity. for example; even gay women may find themselves attracted to certain males during certain times of their life, such as when they’re ovulating. i don’t believe that lessens their credibility or makes them any less straight or gay but rather human beings that are susceptible to biological/hormonal changes. i identify as a lesbian and yet, i can’t fathom a logical and rational motive or reason as to why a lesbian would avoid a bisexual woman in relationships. that behavior only reminds me of the freudian theory of projection bias; the defense mechanism that occurs when a person’s own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else. a cheating husband accusing his wife of cheating. a closeted-racist accusing someone of being racist. a lesbian suspicious of a bisexuals attraction to men, either because the lesbian is actually bisexual or they have the occasional attraction to men but are in denial about it and choose to project and repress those feelings in fear of being ostracized by the lesbian community. there seems to be this constant need to validate and confirm your homosexuality within the lesbian community, specifically. the incessant comments about men and their penis. “god, i can’t stand the sight of a penis. it makes me want to throw up!” - “men are sooo gross, they’re so hairy. i could never be with a man. i love women way too much.”This. Post. Blew. My. Mind.
I loved it. Especially since Bi-Curiousity can be strewn as such a hateful and horrible thing ( and I can understand where that comes from ) but it is true that a lot of people dont just wake up and know who they are. Life is all about exploring and discovering our identities. <3Wow. Thank you for posting this.
This is just… wow. Amazing.